The Number 23

2÷3=.666

I watched Joel Schumacher's The Number 23 a couple of nights ago (I think it was Monday night) and I figured I’d give it a couple of days until I write a review for it. Well… it has been 5 days since I saw the film and unfortunately I have pretty much forgotten that I even watched it. Well...that fact alone doesn’t really say much about the film, but let me try to recall something and piece it back together…

Plot: An animal control officer (read: dog catcher) Walter Sparrow (Jim Carrey) is given a mysterious book “The Number 23” for his birthday by his wife (Virginia Madsen). As Walter starts reading the novel, he slowly becomes obsessed with it, since it resembles him his own life from his youth to his adulthood. To make matters worse – the protagonist in this mysterious novel slaughters his own girlfriend, so the paranoid Walter begins to think that some really horrible events are about to occur, and it’s all somehow because of a number – twenty-three.

* * * WARNING: mild spoilers ahead * * *

I was actually surprised with Carrey’s performance. I think he performed well since he plays a dual role in this film. As did Virginia Madsen, who was also quite good as Walter’s (Carrey) wife, and as Fingerling’s (fictional character, also played by Carrey) very sexy love interest Fabrizia.

So what made me forget this movie so fast? I don’t really know how to explain this, but I think it was an average “popcorn flick” rather than an intense psychological thriller as it was advertised as back in 2007 when it was released. The ending was rather…weird, almost as if the twist (that’s usually at the end of every psychological thriller) wasn’t a twist at all. I think I enjoyed watching it, but toward the second half of the movie I was expecting a little more. Almost as if the screenwriter had lost his creativity half way through the script (happens a lot these days). The story itself resembled me a video game (an action-adventure type video game with Max Payne like characters). And quite frankly it would have probably been a much better game than a movie...


* * (two out of five) – forgettable and nothing special.

V.


Enjoyed The Number 23? Viira recommends: Mr. Brooks, The Butterfly Effect (Dir. cut), and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

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Rambo

Just like old times...

Stallone is back and better than ever. The latest installment of the Rambo series delivers on all fronts including realism -- yes, realism! It appears that Stallone (who is also the director of the film) has taken after Mel (Gibson) and made the film filled with brutal yet realistic violence. All I can say is that blood will flow and limbs will get blown off, but according to one of my USMC buddies (who fought in Operation Phantom Fury -- the second battle of Fallujah) this is exactly what a .50 cal BMG round will do to a man. After all a .50 cal can easily penetrate commercial brick walls and concrete cinder blocks...

* * * (three out of five) -- this time there is no cheesy lines and poor acting. Just pure and extremely violent entertainment.


V.

Enjoyed Rambo? Viira recommends: Black Hawk Down, Shooter and First Blood.

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Hitman

Bourne VS. Bond VS. 47

Let me start by saying that unfortunately I have never played the Eidos Interactive video game series Hitman, but I must say that the feature film Hitman wasn't half bad contrary to many other video game based films.

Despite that the plot of Hitman is incoherent and the majority of the supporting characters are unappealing and poor, I must say that Hitman is an enjoyable (at home) action movie experience. At least it is filled with decent and immensely violent action scenes, lots of guns, and semi-nude Olga Kurylenko (Quantum of Solace) who looks absolutely stunning as a reformed hooker.

I would say that the only thing I did not care for was 47's superior ability to terminate all the other "agents" with no apparent difficulty. Almost as if the "others" were some two-bit punks, rather than proficiently trained assassins from the "Agency". I mean...come on...even Jason Bourne had some considerable difficulty fighting other Blackbriar assassins in the Bourne Ultimatum. But hey...at least the film was better than the latest Bond installment.


* * * (three out of five) -- better than expected. Lots of action, violence, and nudity.


V.

Enjoyed Hitman? Viira recommends: Transporter 2, Live Free of Die Hard and all the Bourne films.

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The Dark Knight on Blu-ray Disc

The Dark Knight is even better on Blu-ray Disc. For those who have not seen it yet, I strongly recommend. Perhaps one of the better films of the year.

Read my entire review here -- The Dark Knight

My rating (* * * * - four out of five) still stands, but I have to admit that I enjoyed the feature a whole lot more on Blu-ray Disc in my own livingroom with the Dolby True HD 5.1 surround sound.

We already know that Heath was nominated for a Golden Globe, let's just hope that he'll get nominated for an Oscar:)

Cheers!

V.


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P2

A New Level of Fear

I have to admit – one of my weaknesses has always been the slasher film genre. More often than not they tend to be stupid, predictable and clichéish but they’re always entertaining and hardly ever disappoint. But don’t get me wrong – I would never go to a theatre and pay the regular $9.50 for one, but they’re good to rent or see on Comcast’s ON DEMAND HD.

Same goes for the Alexander Aja’s P2. It is predictable, yet very entertaining.

Plot: a corporate executive Angela (Rachel Nichols) gets stuck in her company’s parking garage (level P2) after working late on Christmas Eve because her car (3rd generation BMW 5 series) won’t start. Everything seems to be okay (at first) and she’s able to call a cab, but the parking garage attendant has other plans for her… after all, he is lonely and wants just a little companionship and love. I think everything else is quite self-explanatory…

Perhaps the noteworthy elements of the film are Rachel Nichols’ role as the protagonist Angela – the woman in captivity. She’s actually quite bright and does not seem to suffer from the stereotypical “stupid chick syndrome” so prone to the average large breasted slasher flick chick. Another one is the psychopath parking garage attendant (Wes Bentley from American Beauty) himself. This guy is so tormented and sick that at one point you may even feel a bit sorry for him. Or not.

* * * WARNING: mild spoilers ahead * * *

For those who have read Mario Puzo’s The Godfather, will remember that Al Neri, the cop-turned-hitman bodyguard of Michael Corleone got kicked off the force for using excessive force. Al Neri was convicted of manslaughter for beating a Harlem pimp and a drug dealer to death (shattering his skull) using an anodized aluminum Maglite. Does anyone remember that?

If you do, and if you’ve ever wondered how sickening the described incident would look like, then go ahead and watch P2. Wes Bentley really knows how to work a flashlight like that. It is actually so disturbing that I had to turn away from the TV for a second...


* * * (three out of five) -- Surprisingly good slasher flick with decent suspense, and some really gruesome violence.


V.

Enjoyed P2? Viira recommends: The Hills Have Eyes, Haute Tension or any other slasher film.


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Quantum of Solace

...perhaps the worst Bond film of all time??

As many of you may already know this, I usually let the movie “sink in” for a few days, then recall the greatest (or worst) elements of the film, sort of piece it back together, and lastly try to write not necessarily an objective, but fairly adequate review of the feature.

Unfortunately, for the latest Bond installment – Quantum of Solace – there is not much to recall. Quite frankly there is barely anything I can remember from it. Was it really that bad? I’m afraid it was… and this critique is coming from a huge Bond fan such as myself.

* * * WARNING: mild spoilers ahead * * *

What I do remember is that Quantum of Solace starts out with a car chase on a highway that leads through mountain tunnels from Nice through Monte Carlo down to Portofino, Italy – probably the most beautiful road to travel in Europe, but Marc Forster’s (The Kite Runner) direction and Richard Pearson’s (The Bourne Supremacy) MTV style editing completely ruin it. The entire chase is cut so quick that it does not even give the viewer the edge nor the suspense one would expect from a Bond film or any other good action film. But wait…it gets worse…

The plot – unfortunately I never did figure out the plot or the message of Quantum of Solace. It had elements of Bond’s personal vendetta to avenge Vesper’s…suicide…but…against whom exactly? Quite confusing, since she willingly killed herself in the previous Bond installment -- Casino Royale. Then there is some weasel looking fella (villain) named Dominic Greene, and his pathetic henchman with a medieval monk haircut, who had nothing to do with Vesper nor her suicide. Then there is Vesper’s lame ex-boyfriend, then the CIA (Jeffrey Wright’s worst performance yet), and of course Bond’s old pal Rene Mathis; about half way into the feature comes a really pretty red haired MI6 gal in a Burberry trench coat -- perhaps the only likable character, but unfortunately she gets less than 2 minutes of screen time before she gets iced (a flashback from Goldfinger, eh?); then we’re introduced to a Bolivian military general who supposedly enjoys raping women…what is this…the Schindler’s List???... and this is all topped off with Olga Kurylenko and her poor looks followed by even worse acting, as the supposed Bond girl whom Bond never sleeps with? WTF!? I think even Judy Dench' role as M. was poorly written this time.

But all the characters and B category acting aside, this film really lacks the actual story itself, and is therefore quite confusing, but not in the sense that I didn’t understand what was happening, but more like what is the point of all this? On the other hand, Quantum of Solace did have a surplus of MTV style 1-cut-per-second action that…lead nowhere. For instance: Bond chasing a double agent in Siena, Italy – plenty of action, but no resolution; then we see Bond engaged in a boat chase in Haiti, but that entire scene could have been left out since it serves no purpose what so ever; and lastly we see Bond at the opera in Lake Constance, Austria, where gunfire is overpowered by the musical score (exact replica of John Woo’s in Face/Off). Wow…that was really "original"…can it get any worse…yes, the actual ending is even worse, but I will save you the surprise and end this review right here…


* (one out of five) – Quantum of Solace is probably one the worst Bond films of all time and definitely the biggest disappointment of the year. Don’t even bother renting it; wait till it airs on cable.

Oh yes...did I mention that there is no sensible dialogue, no smart lines, or witty comments made by Bond? He is truly a blunt instrument with no charm or charisma. A complete 180 from the Casino Royale...utterly disappointing, to say the least.


V.

Enjoyed Quantum of Solace? Viira recommends: Casino Royale, The Bourne trilogy, and perhaps even psychotherapy – since there must be something seriously wrong with you if you truly enjoyed this film:)


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